You are so right! This resonates so completely within my core. It hurt my heart to hear your sister laughed.... Then again, that's what family is for, eh? I knowingly only have one family member reading my chapters. She hasn't laughed yet, but it will be ok if she does. Since you have shared your experience 🌻 Thank you for blazing the trail for us! Can't wait for Sept 30th!!
Thank you so much for this comment Melanie! Don’t feel bad, it’s really not a big deal that my sister laughed lol. She laughs at everything lol! I’m so glad that sharing my experiences has resonated with you! Can’t wait for Sept. 30th as well! :)
I don't want my family and friends reading my work.
When I write, I'm not the person they know, or think they know.
In writing on sites my friends haven't heard of, my ideas can shine without the worry of what anyone might think of me as a real living person who lives near a small town of 4000 very nosy people.
When I write I have the freedom to be all aspects of me.
To swear, to be sexy, over-emotional, to say what I think without applying social filters or niceties.
I love it that way.
I've held onto two very intimate, sexualized novels I wrote until after both parents had passed away.
I just couldn't contemplate my Mum or Dad reading about that side of me.
Being unknown as a writer frees me of self-doubt, or the thought of being judged on my work.
I find both those things crippling.
On Substack, I write what I want to, like I have this kooky alter ego let out of her cage.
Hey Therese, I totally agree with you! Not being known to your loved ones as a writer allows you to bend the perceptions of what people think you are and what you view yourself as! Writing is truly a special gift and something that makes me feel like myself! Thank you so much for sharing this! :)
I started off like this. Mind you, I've only been at this for a year ish. Barely. If even LOL.
A couple months in though and I found myself on the other side of the fence. I was actually proud of what I was doing. I'm all for people to push to break the mold and do the shit they love. We're not all doctors and lawyers and won't be making those kinds of bucks, so fuck it type thing. Let's stand and do what's "cool". I was also part of the group that got laid off and the ones that did, all ended up starting up their own thing and it was so amazing to see. We all took off those "golden handcuffs", pushed each other even though it's tough because we were all making such good money to basically nothing hahaha. But we felt rich, the rich life where we weren't looking forward to a long weekend and drown ourselves in alcohol hahaha.
I love this Kathy! Ya, I used to feel this type of way a few years ago, but it definitely decreased overtime! Writing is such a freeing experience that I don’t care what people think anymore. Just weirds me out when people close to me read my stuff cuz I’m super shy lol. It’s so awesome that you and your old coworkers were able to branch out, do your own thing! Life’s too short to not do what we love! :)
It's definitely a freeing experience. I don't think I've felt this good doing anything else haha. It's also opened up a lot of doors too. But I totally get the people close to ya reading hahaha. I was soooo scared and had different platforms on what I would share. In the end, I said fuck it hahaha. If y'all don't like, we weren't friends anyways hahhaha . But it's weird, it went the opposite of what I thought too, the people close to me actually enjoy what I write. Each time I publish, those who don't hav substack text me about the piece.
That’s awesome Kathy! Glad the people around you love your writing! I wouldn’t say the people close to me don’t like my writing, I guess they’re just super sarcastic and give me a hard time about everything lol. :)
"When other people read my work aloud, I get embarrassed."
I even started to get embarrassed when I read my work aloud - when I did voiceovers, recording triggered a heavy editing process again. So, I abandoned the voiceovers for now!
Haha, me too Fabienne! Just not a fan of reading my work aloud, which is why I have editing tools to help me out. Unless it’s something I feel NEEDS to be read aloud, I try not too lol :)
That’s awesome too Ebere! I would say nowadays I lie about it less and less lol. I think it depends on the people around you and how supportive they are. :)
When I used to coach business owners in the art of networking, I always suggested they never answer the, “What do you do?” question with “I am an Xxxxxxx”. In others words, you are not what you do.
In this situation, if you answer “writer” you get a verbal nod, That’s interesting”. It’s the equivalent of, “I have no idea what to do with that answer.” A conversational full-stop.
I know dozens of lawyers, accountants and financial advisors. Telling me you are one doesn’t help me understand what makes you different.
So, what to do?
Reply, “I recently wrote an article in the xxxxxx” or “I’ve spent the last two years writing a thriller based in the ice-cream industry in Glasgow.”
Wow, that’s an awesome point Gary! Never thought about that, but it’s so true! The name of our profession doesn’t define what we do. That is sort of what the positive side of these conversations turn into—what I’m working on! I’m definitely going to do this more in conversations! Thank you so much for this advice and for reading! :)
Writing for me is also deeply personal, a sacred space where I can express my truest self. It can be tough when others don’t understand or even respect the journey it takes to build a career out of writing. It's so important to protect our creative space and justify ourselves to those who don’t get it or do I say, get us. 😊. Keep doing what you love, Khadejah. Rooting for you always.
I love this Stella! Thank you so much for this encouragement! I totally agree that writing is the ultimate way to express ourselves and it’s also my therapy! Let’s keep going! :)
I completely resonate with what you said. People always start to dig. How many subscribers? What do you write about? Etc. Doing what you love is a sacred thing that you want to protect. You don't want to have to prove anything to anybody and you shouldn't have to. Some people act as if you are asking THEM to dream. Some people might just be miserable because they have never DARED to dream. It's okay to keep it to yourself. Only people who are in the same realm with you will understand. Other people will try but almost always miss the mark. Thanks for sharing.
Exactly Bee! If you’re doing what you love, it should be sacred and something you’re cautious to tell others about because you don’t want anyone to burst your bubble. Thank you so much for reading and as always, thank you so much for your support! :)
I idly answered “I’ll be writing,” to a question as to how I was going to spend me weekend because I’ve been planning and thinking and dreaming how I’ll use all those hours of free time before the turmoil begins anew on Monday.
“Oh, what do you write about?”
Dear Lord. An honest answer would do me no good. Salacious tales of people getting increasingly horny in exotic places and eventually rolling around together in the nude.
“Um, travel. And stuff.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Open your mouth. This may sting a little.”
You are so right! This resonates so completely within my core. It hurt my heart to hear your sister laughed.... Then again, that's what family is for, eh? I knowingly only have one family member reading my chapters. She hasn't laughed yet, but it will be ok if she does. Since you have shared your experience 🌻 Thank you for blazing the trail for us! Can't wait for Sept 30th!!
Thank you so much for this comment Melanie! Don’t feel bad, it’s really not a big deal that my sister laughed lol. She laughs at everything lol! I’m so glad that sharing my experiences has resonated with you! Can’t wait for Sept. 30th as well! :)
Such a great read with lots of great points! Thank you 😊
Thank you so much for reading Zipporah! I’m so glad you enjoyed this! :)
I don’t particularly want people I know IRL reading my stuff either. I prefer anonymity. Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Khadejah
Always a pleasure Amy! Thank you so much for reading! :)
I don't want my family and friends reading my work.
When I write, I'm not the person they know, or think they know.
In writing on sites my friends haven't heard of, my ideas can shine without the worry of what anyone might think of me as a real living person who lives near a small town of 4000 very nosy people.
When I write I have the freedom to be all aspects of me.
To swear, to be sexy, over-emotional, to say what I think without applying social filters or niceties.
I love it that way.
I've held onto two very intimate, sexualized novels I wrote until after both parents had passed away.
I just couldn't contemplate my Mum or Dad reading about that side of me.
Being unknown as a writer frees me of self-doubt, or the thought of being judged on my work.
I find both those things crippling.
On Substack, I write what I want to, like I have this kooky alter ego let out of her cage.
I can be me unleashed in words.
Hey Therese, I totally agree with you! Not being known to your loved ones as a writer allows you to bend the perceptions of what people think you are and what you view yourself as! Writing is truly a special gift and something that makes me feel like myself! Thank you so much for sharing this! :)
You are welcome. You really got me thinking.
Thank you so much for the inspiration.
No problem Therese! Thank you so much for reading and I’m so glad you found this inspiring! :)
I started off like this. Mind you, I've only been at this for a year ish. Barely. If even LOL.
A couple months in though and I found myself on the other side of the fence. I was actually proud of what I was doing. I'm all for people to push to break the mold and do the shit they love. We're not all doctors and lawyers and won't be making those kinds of bucks, so fuck it type thing. Let's stand and do what's "cool". I was also part of the group that got laid off and the ones that did, all ended up starting up their own thing and it was so amazing to see. We all took off those "golden handcuffs", pushed each other even though it's tough because we were all making such good money to basically nothing hahaha. But we felt rich, the rich life where we weren't looking forward to a long weekend and drown ourselves in alcohol hahaha.
I love this Kathy! Ya, I used to feel this type of way a few years ago, but it definitely decreased overtime! Writing is such a freeing experience that I don’t care what people think anymore. Just weirds me out when people close to me read my stuff cuz I’m super shy lol. It’s so awesome that you and your old coworkers were able to branch out, do your own thing! Life’s too short to not do what we love! :)
It's definitely a freeing experience. I don't think I've felt this good doing anything else haha. It's also opened up a lot of doors too. But I totally get the people close to ya reading hahaha. I was soooo scared and had different platforms on what I would share. In the end, I said fuck it hahaha. If y'all don't like, we weren't friends anyways hahhaha . But it's weird, it went the opposite of what I thought too, the people close to me actually enjoy what I write. Each time I publish, those who don't hav substack text me about the piece.
That’s awesome Kathy! Glad the people around you love your writing! I wouldn’t say the people close to me don’t like my writing, I guess they’re just super sarcastic and give me a hard time about everything lol. :)
Haha if that’s the case, I’d be hiding it from them too!
Lol Kathy :)
great words 👍
Thank you so much for reading Mr. Ma! :)
Fascinating
"When other people read my work aloud, I get embarrassed."
I even started to get embarrassed when I read my work aloud - when I did voiceovers, recording triggered a heavy editing process again. So, I abandoned the voiceovers for now!
Haha, me too Fabienne! Just not a fan of reading my work aloud, which is why I have editing tools to help me out. Unless it’s something I feel NEEDS to be read aloud, I try not too lol :)
I get your point Kadejah but I don't believe I need to lie about what I do. I actually prefer to say it than any other thing.
I am not entitled to answer any other follow up questions you may have
That’s awesome too Ebere! I would say nowadays I lie about it less and less lol. I think it depends on the people around you and how supportive they are. :)
Yes
Definitely
I’m proud to say I’m a writer.
Me too Michelle! Writers are awesome! :)
It is unfortunate to believe most people are looking to shoot you down when that ask questions about what you do.
Ya, it’s sad Kim, but finding good ways to navigate it makes it better though. :)
When I used to coach business owners in the art of networking, I always suggested they never answer the, “What do you do?” question with “I am an Xxxxxxx”. In others words, you are not what you do.
In this situation, if you answer “writer” you get a verbal nod, That’s interesting”. It’s the equivalent of, “I have no idea what to do with that answer.” A conversational full-stop.
I know dozens of lawyers, accountants and financial advisors. Telling me you are one doesn’t help me understand what makes you different.
So, what to do?
Reply, “I recently wrote an article in the xxxxxx” or “I’ve spent the last two years writing a thriller based in the ice-cream industry in Glasgow.”
Now there is something to build a conversation.
Wow, that’s an awesome point Gary! Never thought about that, but it’s so true! The name of our profession doesn’t define what we do. That is sort of what the positive side of these conversations turn into—what I’m working on! I’m definitely going to do this more in conversations! Thank you so much for this advice and for reading! :)
It’s all about passing forward the things that work.
Exactly Gary! :)
Writing for me is also deeply personal, a sacred space where I can express my truest self. It can be tough when others don’t understand or even respect the journey it takes to build a career out of writing. It's so important to protect our creative space and justify ourselves to those who don’t get it or do I say, get us. 😊. Keep doing what you love, Khadejah. Rooting for you always.
I love this Stella! Thank you so much for this encouragement! I totally agree that writing is the ultimate way to express ourselves and it’s also my therapy! Let’s keep going! :)
Yesssssss! Let’s definitely keep going. 😊✍️
You have to be thick-skinned, not everyone is going to love you. I hate when people say yes, you are a writer but what do you do for a living? :)
Exactly Bing! I totally agree! :)
I completely resonate with what you said. People always start to dig. How many subscribers? What do you write about? Etc. Doing what you love is a sacred thing that you want to protect. You don't want to have to prove anything to anybody and you shouldn't have to. Some people act as if you are asking THEM to dream. Some people might just be miserable because they have never DARED to dream. It's okay to keep it to yourself. Only people who are in the same realm with you will understand. Other people will try but almost always miss the mark. Thanks for sharing.
Exactly Bee! If you’re doing what you love, it should be sacred and something you’re cautious to tell others about because you don’t want anyone to burst your bubble. Thank you so much for reading and as always, thank you so much for your support! :)
💯💯💯 You’re welcome!
I idly answered “I’ll be writing,” to a question as to how I was going to spend me weekend because I’ve been planning and thinking and dreaming how I’ll use all those hours of free time before the turmoil begins anew on Monday.
“Oh, what do you write about?”
Dear Lord. An honest answer would do me no good. Salacious tales of people getting increasingly horny in exotic places and eventually rolling around together in the nude.
“Um, travel. And stuff.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Open your mouth. This may sting a little.”